The Greater Mysteries Of Life
The Black Horse Courier shied no expenses to unravel the greatest mysteries of life:
How can you hear a whistle blow five hundred miles? If you shoot an arrow straight up into the sky, why does it not fall back? And why is Belenors journal frightenly full of empty pages this last week?
In fact, the Black Horse Courier was unable to track down Belenor, who seems at this point lost in mountains somewhere between Sancre Tor and Cloud Ruler Temple. Rumours that even the extraordinary sense of direction of his horse, Priority, failed him, are without substance. Closer to the truth could be that he had left Priority somewhere safe within the ruins of Sancre Tor and now simply cannot find him.
In order to solve this puzzle and bring relief to our readers, the Black Horse Courier contacted Falanu Hlaalu, Dunmer sorceress, rumoured Daedra worshipper and close friend of Belenor. She, in turn, used her connection to otherworldly beings to shed some light on the actions of the omnipresent entiety only known as 'The Author'.
Falanu Hlaalu conducted a stunningly executed seance, during which the Author himself used her as means of speaking to us.
"Äh, is this thing working? Yes? Splendid. See, with Belenor there in the mountains and Priority finally getting a little rest, I figured it was time to prepare myself mentally for the frustrating part of the siege of Bruma and ..."
There was much commotion.
"Oh dear, I said too much, didn't I? Well, then, try this one. Next week, three exams are coming up, the final three exams of my university life. Or so I hope. And as I still have that delusion of being able to get at least a 2.0 diploma - theoretically even 1.9[1] - I actually take evenings off to learn instead of playing, and ..."
There was much confusion.
"Bugger this. Belenor went after an Orcish hunter who stole him the last two arrows. In the meantime, Priority nurses his foot back to health, which he had injured while trampling over the remains of the skeletal guards. Bone splinters can be nasty. Belenor will return within a weeks time and together, they will face great perils, grave danger and endless Buffy references. If he can hold on to his sanity, he will triumph and restore the Emperor to his rightful throne."
And there was much rejoicing.
With this, the fragile connection between our medium Falanu Hlaalu and the Author broke, the last mumbled words where understood to be "...onder if Tamriel uses an IPv6 hostmask, let's rewrite those iptables..." but that might have been the exhaustion talking.
More on the gods behind the gods, how to commune with your future great-grandchildren and why Falanu Hlaalu suddenly is interested in transdimensional travel coming soon.
[1] For our readers across the pond: Lower score equals better. Not sure if it is the same over there.
How can you hear a whistle blow five hundred miles? If you shoot an arrow straight up into the sky, why does it not fall back? And why is Belenors journal frightenly full of empty pages this last week?
In fact, the Black Horse Courier was unable to track down Belenor, who seems at this point lost in mountains somewhere between Sancre Tor and Cloud Ruler Temple. Rumours that even the extraordinary sense of direction of his horse, Priority, failed him, are without substance. Closer to the truth could be that he had left Priority somewhere safe within the ruins of Sancre Tor and now simply cannot find him.
In order to solve this puzzle and bring relief to our readers, the Black Horse Courier contacted Falanu Hlaalu, Dunmer sorceress, rumoured Daedra worshipper and close friend of Belenor. She, in turn, used her connection to otherworldly beings to shed some light on the actions of the omnipresent entiety only known as 'The Author'.
Falanu Hlaalu conducted a stunningly executed seance, during which the Author himself used her as means of speaking to us.
"Äh, is this thing working? Yes? Splendid. See, with Belenor there in the mountains and Priority finally getting a little rest, I figured it was time to prepare myself mentally for the frustrating part of the siege of Bruma and ..."
There was much commotion.
"Oh dear, I said too much, didn't I? Well, then, try this one. Next week, three exams are coming up, the final three exams of my university life. Or so I hope. And as I still have that delusion of being able to get at least a 2.0 diploma - theoretically even 1.9[1] - I actually take evenings off to learn instead of playing, and ..."
There was much confusion.
"Bugger this. Belenor went after an Orcish hunter who stole him the last two arrows. In the meantime, Priority nurses his foot back to health, which he had injured while trampling over the remains of the skeletal guards. Bone splinters can be nasty. Belenor will return within a weeks time and together, they will face great perils, grave danger and endless Buffy references. If he can hold on to his sanity, he will triumph and restore the Emperor to his rightful throne."
And there was much rejoicing.
With this, the fragile connection between our medium Falanu Hlaalu and the Author broke, the last mumbled words where understood to be "...onder if Tamriel uses an IPv6 hostmask, let's rewrite those iptables..." but that might have been the exhaustion talking.
More on the gods behind the gods, how to commune with your future great-grandchildren and why Falanu Hlaalu suddenly is interested in transdimensional travel coming soon.
[1] For our readers across the pond: Lower score equals better. Not sure if it is the same over there.
posted by JE.P. | 20:04
2 Comments:
This has to be the best Elder Scrolls Blog I´ve seen in my three years of playing. Brilliant humor and strategy you´ve got in your game. Keep up the fantastic work!
Thank you!
Got my last exam on friday (business ethics - don't ask), and hopefully new posts will be up on friday or saturday. ;)
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